Borderline personality disorder relationship is a psychological condition that is actually very difficult to understand; both for the one who is suffering from it and for the people related to the person.
The borderline personality disorder relationships are like an amusement park ride. However, we urge you to not think that this ride is actually fun and entertaining. Having a relationship of any sort with a borderline personality individual can be downright chaotic, stressful and extremely difficult to understand.
In simpler words, having a relationship with a borderline personality individual can be exhausting and traumatic. This article focuses on the relationships people with a borderline personality disorder share with their friends, family, relatives, and loved ones.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
There are many people who are not aware of the complexities and the adverse impact neurological abnormalities can have on the human brain. Therefore, people often wonder what is borderline personality disorder and how it can be treated. Borderline personality disorder also referred to as BPD is a haphazard pattern of human emotions that makes a person behave in a certain repulsive way.
The way a personal emotionally behaves and reacts when suffering from BPD is often surprising and offending. However, these extreme emotional reactions are beyond control and therefore, it makes it very difficult these people to socially move, interact and build
The way a personal emotionally behaves and reacts when suffering from BPD is often surprising and offending. However, these extreme emotional reactions are beyond control and therefore, it makes it very difficult these people to socially move, interact and build a long-term relationship. People suffering from BPD often have short-lived relationships.
Medication for BPD
On the upside, there is medication for borderline personality disorder that is available to treat patients suffering from BPD. This medication includes SSRI’s, anti-anxiety medication, mood stabilizers, MOAI’s, sedatives and anti-depressants. However, the medication cannot cure BPD but can only reduce the intensity of the symptoms overall.
If a person does not take medicine regularly it can result in the symptoms only worsening and the condition of the person becoming worse with time. As a result of this, the interpersonal relationships may suffer a great deal.
Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
There are several symptoms that are associated with the borderline personality disorder. These symptoms are helpful to recognize the presence of BPD in a person. This also makes it easier to tackle and maintain a healthy relationship with the person. These symptoms are very common and most of them can be missed out.
The narcissistic personality disorder traits are very similar to BPD personality traits or symptoms. However if one is aware of the symptoms beforehand, it becomes easier to apprehend the presence of BPD in individuals.
- Lack of self-confidence
- Dysfunctional and weak self-image
- Feelings of isolation and abandonment
- Lack of empathy
- Lack of remorse or regret
- Rapid and extreme mood swings
- Feelings of anxiety and panic
- Repetitive periods of prolonged depression
- Impulsive behavior
Explaining borderline personality disorder relationships
Since it is not easy to understand a person with borderline personality, therefore, it is also not easy to explain it. There are people with other personality disorders as well such as the schizoid personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder.
However, dealing with a person with a BPD is toughest and most challenging of all. The reason is that BPD people do not think they are doing wrong nor have any flaws. This is why it is difficult to understand the BPD and the relationship that they built and maintain with other people. There are few prominent characteristics that are associated with the borderline personality disorder relationship.
For instance, a common characteristic of BPD is instability. Similarly, there are several other components of this personality as well which are responsible for complicating the relationships they have with other people.
Why are these relationships so complicated?
Here are some of the most common reasons why the people with borderline personality disorder have difficult relationships and find it difficult to maintain them in the long run.
- People with BPD are low on emotional intelligence
There are two types of intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the type that is not much talked about and is little known of. EI actually refers to how well a person is able to apprehend his own emotions and control them. People with BPD have a very low emotional intelligence score. This indicates towards their unawareness of their own emotions and in turn, emotional reactions.
- People with BPD are impulsive
People with BPD are impulsive and there can be nothing worse than that. A person who has BPD is unable to control his emotions or the way the emotional reacts to situations. This, in turn, makes him impulsive and makes him react badly to situations as well.
The impulsive behavior is completely uncontrollable. Impulsivity is also associated with aggression and in extreme cases can also result in violence. Therefore, being in a stable relationship with such a person becomes extremely difficult and emotionally challenging.
- People with BPD are overly sensitive
Being a little sensitive is okay but when the sensitivity level crosses a certain point, it becomes difficult to deal with it beyond that point. A person with BPD is overly sensitive and therefore, maintaining a healthy relationship with such a person is near to impossible. The reason is that he might be offended by every word you say or do.
You would never know what you did or said that went wrong. Even the tiniest thing can cause the biggest turmoil and trouble in the relationship.
- People with BPD fear being abandoned
Each one us fears to be alone but there is a fine line where this fear can turn into being something abnormal. There are many fears that we all have in life but letting those fears dictate the way we live our lives or pursue our relationship is actually not the best way to do it.
People with BPD fear being abandoned or left alone more than anything else and they allow this fear to take control of their lives and the relationship they share with other people.
- People with BPD are immature throughout their lives
It is said that there is a point in life where a person turns into an adult and leaves the child behind. This is when it is said that a person becomes mature and sensible. Maturity is associated with long-lasting, stable and happy relationships. People with borderline personality disorder remain immature throughout their lives.
There is never a stage in life when they become mature and leave the child behind. Their child-like personality traits are always dominant and this makes it difficult for them to enjoy a healthy relationship with an adult.
Maintaining a relationship with borderline personality individual
Love is unconditional and this is the only emotion on which relationships are built on. This is not only true for relationships that are intimate or sexual but for all other bonds as well. However, unfortunately, a person with BPD fails to have a stable and healthy relationship with his/her parents, siblings, spouse, partner, friends, relatives or even children.
The relationship may not be completely ruined but will be very difficult and challenging. It may be a constant struggle and require a lot of patience and compromise from the second person in the relationship. However, when things get so out of hands and difficult it is important to remember that relationships are built with great effort.
Breaking them or giving up on them is not the best and brave decision you should be making. When you are in a relationship with a person with BPD, have patience, courage, and kindness. Remember that the other person also has a good heart and is incapable of controlling his behavior or reactions. Here are a few tips that will be very helpful to maintain a relationship with a person who has BPD.
- Never act victim in the relationship
This is not only true for a relationship with a person who has BPD but is, in fact, true for any relationship. You should never behave miserably or play the victim. This would be very offensive and only worsen the entire situation.
- Always stick to your words
A person who has BPD is more alert than you assume. So when you are in a relationship with such person, remember to do exactly what as you say. Never say something just to make the other person happy or for the sake of ending an argument or discussion. Make sure to stick to your words and be true to yourself as well as your counterpart.
- Don’t try too much
This may not be entirely your fault and you may do it in an effort to just make your partner happier. But sadly, this may turn out to be offensive for your partner. Never try to overly flatter your loved one who has BPD. If you unnecessarily praise her, she might end up feeling you are making fun of her.
If you turn up with homemade food during lunch break, he might think you are cheating on him. Therefore, the best thing to do is be as normal as you can be and never try too much.